Satter, E. (1987). How to get your kid to eat-- but not too much. Palo Alto, Calif: Bull Pub. Co.
Reviewed by Rebekah Miller, VT Dietetic Intern
Children are not the same as they used to be. They do not act the same nor do they look the same. In terms of weight and physical activity, children today are the heaviest and least active children that have ever existed. They spend countless hours in front of a box- whether it be a computer, television, or video game. Some are picky and will only eat the same few items, while others eat enormous amounts of sugary and processed foods and drinks. What are we to do?
The answer Ellyn Satter gives to parents, future parents, and health professionals in her book, How To Get Your Kid To Eat… But Not Too Much, is surprisingly for parents to do less! According to Satter, many poor nutrition and eating habits develop as a result of parents doing too much and over controlling their children’s eating. To illustrate her point, Satter paints the picture of how a car swerves when it is over-steered. Similarly, when parents take too much control of their children’s diets, the result tends to be the exact opposite of how they are desperately trying to get their children to react.
Satter explains that for optimal feeding and eating habits, there needs to be a “division of responsibility” between the parent and child or what she titles the “golden rule of feeding.” Simply put, she defines this golden rule as “Parents are responsible for what is presented to eat and the manner in which it is presented- Children are responsible for how much and even whether they eat.” She explains that in every feeding stage, from infancy through adolescence, the parent should be responsible to provide safe and appropriate food. This does not include force feeding, begging, convincing, bribing, or demanding them to eat. Satter also strongly encourages parents to not “short order cook” or cook multiple meals until their child finally accepts one. The child does not get to choose what the meal is, but just whether or not they will eat it. She notes that many psychological studies have indicated that when parents are too managing or controlling, they interfere with a child’s development in learning how to manage himself.
The concept of allowing a child to skip a meal sounds frightening at first, however Satter gives suggestions that reassure that her golden rule does not involve starvation! First of all, she recommends setting regular meal times and stresses the importance of family meals. Allowing for multiple food options and setting up the meal “family style” will allow for the child to easily see the food and decide whether he is going to eat it. It also is helpful for the child to see his other family members eating the food so he will recognize that it is good and safe. Satter explains how young children, especially toddlers, tend to be neophobic, meaning they are afraid of new things. While this can be a pain in the feeding situation, overall it is something to be thankful for as this also means they will be less likely to eat a foreign or poisonous object.
A great strength of How To Get Your Kid To Eat… But Not Too Much is its credibility and the high content of scientific and evidence based research Satter references and uses to support her theories and suggestions. In every chapter, she refers to studies and presents a list of her resources at the end of every chapter. She also often gives case examples of clients or patients she has worked with, which is interesting and exhibits her extensive knowledge in the area of feeding issues with children. A particularly fascinating study she often referenced was of a teacher who presented a new food to a class of four year olds. For half of her students, she nonchalantly made the food available, while with the other, she offered an incentive to eat the new item. Later on she presented the foods another time and found that the children who received the incentive were the least likely to eat the food again. This indicates that children are able to pick up on even subtle bribes and recognize that if they are offered a prize for eating a new food, it must not really be good. Satter used this study to reinforce the idea that pressuring, bribing, or enthusiastically praising a child for eating their vegetables is sending a message that there must be something wrong with vegetables if it is such an accomplishment to eat it.
Satter presents information that is applicable to a wide audience, including many health professionals and parents with children of any age. She also addresses children with eating disorders and special needs. However, a large potential audience, who is briefly addressed and may likely not find her suggestions feasible, are parents with limited income. Satter’s suggestions of offering a wide variety of food per meal and allowing your child not to eat if he so chooses, may not be realistic for families who have difficulty affording meals. Many low income families also tend to buy similar foods that they know their child will eat and may be less inclined to invest in foods their child may reject.
The book is divided by chapters that are titled based on the child’s stage of life or particular eating issue. Although Satter’s golden rule and division of feeding concept can be applied to all stages and eating issues, her chapters occasionally seem redundant. However, it could be recommended to parents to just read the stage of life chapter their child is currently in or approaching, as well as the general feeding chapters.
How To Get Your Kid To Eat… But Not Too Much is a great resource for parents, health professionals, or anyone who is seeking to learn about successful feeding in children. The advice and suggestions Satter provides are useful and apply to every stage of a child’s development process. She gives many specific examples, as well as an appendix of useful tools, lists, and charts at the end of the book that will help navigate parents toward a successful eating relationship with their child.
